I. Adagio – Allegro

1. Welcome to Haydn’s One Hundredth Symphony, brought to you by the fearless musicians of ROCO.

2. Although “fearless” may be the wrong word; even seasoned professionals can suffer from stage fright.

3. Symptoms may include shaking, nausea, and the inability to play fast scales on the xylophone.

4. Even such luminaries as Jim Carrey, Barbara Streisand, and Sir Lawrence Olivier have had to overcome their fears of live performance. You’d think being a millionaire might help, but stage fright knows no tax bracket.

5. When she was starting out, Cher was supposed to be a solo act but couldn’t perform without the comfort and distraction of a partner onstage. Making Sonny the first Emotional Support Animal.

II. Allegretto

1. Let us take a moment to welcome a few new (new in the 1790s anyway) instruments into the orchestra: bass drum, cymbals, and triangle.

2. Though they seem relatively tame today, at the time they evoked the image of the Turkish Janissary, the elite military soldiers who used them to strike terror in the hearts of their many enemies.

3. Imagine: You’re an Austrian soldier on patrol. The battle is over for the night. All is dark and calm. But then you hear it in the distance. Softly at first.

4. Ding, Crash, Boom. Oh no. Ding, Crash, Boom. It can’t be. Ding, Crash, BOOM! Tell my mother I love her. AHHHHHHH!

III. Minuet – Trio. Moderato

1. The minuet is a dance with three beats per measure. Dancing it can be tricky if you have only two legs. Right-Left-Left? Right-Right-Left? It’s basically a recipe for falling over.

2. Fun fact: There has never been an animal species on earth genetically encoded with three legs. Though parrots often use their beaks to help with walking, which qualifies them as tripedal.

3. It’s fun to think that somewhere out there is a parrot who can dance the minuet. Or at least call out the steps. “Left! Right! Beak! Who’s a good birdie?!”

IV. Finale: Presto

1. Haydn himself wrote quite a bit of dance music, beginning with his … did you just hear something? Something scary in the distance? I’m sure it’s nothing.

2. As an employee of the Esterhazy family, Haydn would have been trained in the social graces of the day, which included… There it is again, maybe? Almost like a … oh no…

3. Ding! Crash! Boom! It’s the trio of terror! Bass drum, cymbals, and the dreaded Triangle! Three sides, no mercy! Run for your lives! AHHHHHH!!!